Nothing feels right.

Rcpk,

This feels a little funny, to be here posting about you, yet knowing that perhaps you are never gonna read it. These 16 months... Been through quite a hell yeah? I really do not know why am i not able to give you up or to let you go. Its not that i'm not aware that you've no more love towards me. Everytime we quarrel, and you say those really mean things... Its not as though i don't know that you actually meant most of them. Do you know what i ever wanted? Every 11:11, i wish for the same thing repeatedly. To just last forever with you, happily. I hope so badly that we could grow old together, that we would strive towards our future. We can't be living like this forever. All i want, was for to show me that you really did love me. Care and concern whenever i'm feeling down, or just because so. You dislike all my friends, i don't get on well with all of yours either. Your family members may not like me that much, mine definitely disapproves. All odds against us, i still hope that we could change their impressions. I can never deny that we've got our perfect moments, how much i wished time would stop just then. Maybe i honestly don't know what i want well, maybe i'm still immature most of the times. But what i do know is that i want us to have the best in future. Be people who are not deemed as pests in society. I want to be on the high-end of life, i want you to be there to enjoy the riches of the world with me. But everything is not working out, you're heading nowhere, i'm getting too clingy, too possesive, too paranoid. You're losing faith in our love as the days goes by, i'm only falling deeper. I really want to know, what must i do to get it all back? What must i do for you to stop treating me this way. Have you not known that my love was genuine? Whatever have i done to deserve such treatment from you? I'm really very sorry that i have not been able to the ideal partner you had in mind. But i'm sure i love you nothing less than what you would've expected. I only aim to give you the best, to give this relationship all that i've got. I've got to admit, i don't do things willingly many a times. Maybe it was out of fear. Or that fear of losing you. I hope you would just tell me, tell me how has this been for you. I've been concentrating too much on fulfilling your daily needs, thus neglecting your feelings for quite some time. But what about me? I wish i could fall back on you some times, knowing that you would be there to catch me. Raymond chan, raymond chan... Please, i beg you, just love me back the way i do? I don't expect anything more. Just the same way i do, will do. I, want you forever, forever and always. Through the good, and the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together and always remember, whether rich, or for poor, or for better, we'll still love each other. Whether happy, or sad, or whatever, we'll still love each other, forever and always.

I, love you forever, forever and always. Please just remember, even if i'm not there, i'll always love you, forever and always.