Happy 2nd Month!

I want to be your favourite hello and your hardest goodbye.


Happy second month bb.
Its has only been two months, yet we've gone through quite alot yeah? Mostly rough patches but its the good ones that keeps us going. I don't ever care much about what others say, so why should you bother as well right? There were many times, you literally broke me apart. But i'm glad we always managed through. Seriously, you're not a very good boyf, but i know there are times when i see your effort. I hope you could be more patient with me though. I know you're you, and i'm never gonna change you unless it's gonna benefit you. Every 11:11, i wished the same wish over and over again. I don't ever want to be here without you baby. I hope it gets better as we go. Even if it gets harder, it won't take away my love, hope its the same for you. Ever heard of this? 'When you love someone so much, you apologise even when it's not your fault because it hurts you and you can't handle fighting with them.' Anyway, long story cut short, just wanna tell you a thanks and I LOVE YOU. <3

I'm fed up, you're one of a kind.

I want your attention now.
& the truth is, you suck hardcore as a boyf, but i love you hardcore.
I h8 you bcos i love u, *pouts. >>>>:

I miss you.

Didn't go to work today, but i'm still very tired. Saw many many faces when i went for work on wednesday, it was located at ang mo kio anyway. I manage to hit the target of 35, even exceeding the expected amount. My legs were breaking, my throat was hurting but it was worth it. Through out all, i was telling myself, i can't give up, because all these is for you. Yes you D, i didn't give up for you. So you can't give up too! I did it, it was just hard work. You can too, please please don't give up.

Remember the first time i saw you?
I had the worst impression of you then even though you looked better then.
Remember how we got to know each other?
You helped me repierce my lip and you were the worst piercer ever i swear.
Remember the first time i went down to look for J after like a year?
Your first sentence to me was : It's you uh.
Remember how the tawhway shop became our place?
We would always meet there, it became our unofficial meeting place.
Remember the first time i ran away from home?
You did so much for me.
Remember the time first time i absconded?
You were the one who was there through it all.
Remember all the times we would quarrel?
I just had a way to make you laugh and give in.
Remember the times we would just sit under your block through the night?
We could just talk about anything and everything.
Remember the times we could just talk on the phone for ages?
You were damn crappy, thinking that your handphone prepaid was forever.
Remember the day you were drunk and you cabbed down to my place?
You waited outside my house for a good 2 hours before i came out. By that time, you were wide awake already and realised that you should have just went home straight instead.
Remember we promised to go church every monday morning?
We obviously didn't keep to it.
Remember how you would always make me go down to just have breakfast with you?
It was always motherfreaking early in the morning.
Remember how i always wanted you to come fetch me from school after i went in gh?
You fetched me to school once, fetched me from school twice. ( I'm fucking touched for that.)
Remember the first movie we watched on July20th?
Ghost of girlfriends past. ( I think that's the title. )
Remember the best friend hug you would give me before i left?
I would give anything just for that now.
Remember how we cried on the phone after you got into that mess?
I was crying in the toilet, you made me cry many times during that period.
Remember how you flared up when you couldn't go for the michael jackson club event?
You got semi-drunk at oasis after that.
Remember how you took good care of me when you brought me to some pub @ geylang?
Who is gonna take care of me now?
Remember how we were suppose to work together and save up to clear debts?
You always woke up late for interviews and there went our jobs.
Remember how we used to share our cash?
You spent money like water. If i didn't control you, you would've died.
Remember how you used to listen to my blog's playlist?
I want you to hear them right now, it's updated, do you know that?

I mother fucking miss you, there's so much we have not done yet. C'mon, you can't leave me right here without you. I need you, do you know that? This is something i've never told you before. You mean alot to me, i want you to be able to know this. Don't be gone even before i have a chance to tell you how much you mean to me. I forgot what was the blog's url that you've created for me, i want you to wake up and tell me right now. Do you know that i got someone to wrote out what you posted for me last time? Cos i was in gh and was not able to use the computer. I even had it saved in gh's computer. Nothing else matters now, seriously. I just want you back in my life, i can't afford to lose you. I'll whatever it takes, to turn this around. Don't give up!

What about me?

Best picture effect.

Forever my favourite picture, always.

You can't do this to me, you can't do this to us. There's so many people who care so damn much for you and you do know that. You can't just leave like this, you're disappointing so many. If you do, who is gonna be there for me whenever i just need some help? Who is gonna be there for me to kpkb with whenever i'm feeling moody? This can't be happening, i would not allow it. Others say it's fate, i say it's based on your willpower. You can't be that weak, where's the stubborn character i've always known? The one who never says never. Even she is genuinely concerned about you, how can you not wake up? Fuck, really. I mother fucking miss you.

Bff, i still need you. Don't go.

This scary, really scary. D, please please get well soon, you can't just leave just like this. I have never never expected that such a thing could happen to you. Please don't do this to me, don't make me feel motherfucking guilty. Guilty for not being able to be there. Guilty for always turning you away when you try to patch things up between us. I haven't told you how important you are to me, and even though sometimes i say things that i don't mean, i wanna be able to tell you that i don't mean them at all. Don't leave before i even have the chance to do so. Please please don't give up, please. What about me? What about all those around you that care for you really loads? Get up, i know you're strong. I feel fucking fucking useless. I can't even go and visit you thanks to those endless screenings by the police, fuck. I need you, i still need you even though you don't know this. It's people like you who make a rainy day sunny again. I miss those times we could just sit through the night, you listening to my problems, me listening to all your stories. Yes i know you did alot for me, and once again, i've never told you how much i appreciated your efforts. I'm sorry i didn't acknowledge the truth that you've changed for the better. Thanks for always trying your best whenever i'm need of help. I'm really upset now, very. You told me this, hongster never dies, D never dies, now what is this? I don't care, i'll do anything i can just to wake you up. You said this, you promise that you'll be there for me whenever i cry. Now i'm crying, where are you? I've got many many things to tell you, you've been away for too long, but now are you gonna be away forever too? 'Cos honestly, this is too much for me to take. You know how much i hoped and prayed that this was just a prank? When i received that call, my heart felt like it skipped many beats. I don't know how am i supposed to react to this, positively or negatively. All i know is, i do love you my dear bff. So all you've gotta do is to keep all the promises you've made to me. You can't just leave like this, you can't just give up now. I'll always be here waiting, always.

Can Love Conquer All,

Coz physically and emotionally, it hurts badly. Do you know that?
Out of the million reasons to leave, I have found that one reason to stay, have you?
I love you.

FML.

& your piercing words sent daggers through my heart, did you know that?